Central Universal Store (TsUM)I'll never forget my first shopping experience in Perm! We had frozen pel'mini (very distantly related to ravioli) that we could boil, but nothing to serve them with. Most Russians eat them with sour cream smothered on top. Ed and I don't care for sour cream, however, so we decided we would shop for some ketchup. Our friend, Andy, took us to the closest store, one which simply supplied locals with kitchen staple items like flour and sugar. Oddly enough, they did not have any ketchup. So we ventured another hundred feet or so to another store, which had bare cupboards. We met with minimal success on our third try. They had tomato sauce of some sort, which we decided to try on our pel'mini. Instead of being savory, with oregano or other italian spices, it was super sweet and, well, an acquired taste - as were the pel'mini!
Our shopping experience, at all three stores, was intriguing, in that you could not pick up the item of interest, but rather, had to ask for it by name and have it handed to you, but ONLY after purchase. I suppose if I knew any Russian at the time, I could've asked to inspect the bottle and check the "good thru" date on the lid. However, I didn't know one word of Russian beyond "da" and "nyet"! I marveled at how we would survive our first visit in Perm, especially if I had to point at everything I wanted and then trust the clerk to not cheat me of rubles. For you see, there was an abacus on the counter, instead of a reliable cash box with that familiar "ka-ching" ring!
After some further discussion about my inability to speak Russian, it was disclosed to me that there is a store that all the "ex-patriots" shop at. The Universom was my answer to prayer - we weren't going to starve after all!!! I could pick up that box of kasha and determine whether it was oatmeal, rice cereal, or something similar to cream of wheat inside! The weird thing is that I also had my own personal tracker following me down every aisle I meandered through. If I picked up anything, I got "the eye"...you know the one... your mom used it so as to say, "I'm watching you, so you best behave!" I felt like a criminal simply for touching something long enough to put it in the cart that this store conveniently offered me. The cart had wheels and all! This was as American as it could get!!! It was always exciting to make a trip to the Universom! Week after week, we would compare notes on what new "western" food we managed to find there. Happy was the day we discovered Uncle Ben's Spaghetti Sauce! For once, we could have something savory for our pel'mini! Not only that, but a year or so later, Heinz added to the competition, offering all fifty-seven sauces except ketchup!!!
So, now you're wondering why I posted a picture of the TsUM above. The first year we were here, grocery kiosks lined the first floor of the TsUM. I wanted to make sandwiches and figured it would be wise to get the ingredients at the TsUM, since we were in town. Little did I know how long it would take to go through their "Soviet-style" system. Walk through this system with me to gain a better understanding.
When making a sandwich, one needs the following: bread, meat, cheese, a condiment or two, and some carrots or something healthy on the side. So, you enter the bread kiosk's line to find out how much it costs and then to reserve a baton of bread. The clerk writes out on a piece of paper how much your loaf costs and sets it aside for you. You stand in the cashier line and eventually get to pay for your bread. You then return to the bread kiosk line to claim your bread.
Next, you make your way to the meat produce kiosk. Remember you can't touch or inspect anything. The lines are long and only getting longer as the lunch or dinner hour approaches. You forget how many pounds are in a kilogram and wind up asking the clerk to calculate the price for too much kielbasa (sausage), but determine to take that much anyway. She writes out a slip of paper for you so that the cashier knows how much to collect for your kielbasa and she lays the meat aside for you to claim it later. You stand in the cashier line (again) to pay for your meat. Is it just me, or is this line getting longer still? You pay for your kielbasa and then hurry back to the kielbasa kiosk line to claim it before someone else does.
Things are disappearing off the shelves in record time! You're only halfway done and this is already taking much longer than you expected. You think to yourself, "Do I really want cheese on my sandwich?" but find your way to the dairy kiosk line anyway. This time, you avoid relying on your ability to calculate pounds for kilogram and motion to the clerk how much of that (pointing), no I mean that (still pointing), no THAT ONE(!!!) sort of cheese you want. You figure an inch's worth is enough. She looks at you like you were born with two heads, but starts slicing, weighing and calculating the cost. You grab your slip of paper...that cashier line is winding down the hall already!!! You begin to wonder if mold is growing on your cheese when, at last, you finally make it to the cashier and pay for said cheese. You don't look forward to returning to the dairy kiosk line. The clerk has kept her eye on you and continues to treat you like a martian!
You decide, "That's it!!! I'm outta here!" and opt NOT to slather your sandwich with anything, but find yourself in the condiment kiosk line - simply out of habit. You point towards some mustard, thinking that would be quite tasty on your sandwich, despite the moldy cheese. There are literally one hundred and one versions of mustard to choose from, which makes you wonder, but you pick one anyway. It's Russia - live a little! You hike to the end of the cashier line to pay for your mustard. The cashier never seems to notice you've been to see her this, your fourth time yet, but the cheese-lady is still watching you to find out just what is wrong with you? You also have no clue whether the cashier has given you the proper change for all these items, but by now you don't care...you're tired of standing in line, hungry, and just want to go home....but have to get the mustard you just paid for first! You tally which line is longest while waiting to pick up your mustard.
Finally, you've made it through one crazy shopping experience and find your way home. You make your sandwich, using all the ingredients of this day's purchases and take a bite, only to discover that "live-a-little" mustard is horseradish and you have used entirely toooooooo much on your sandwich! It's Russia!!! You also discover that you forgot to buy carrots for your side dish.
Over the years, we have seen Perm's doors open wide to the commercial competition of grocery stores. The two largest conglomerates are Semya and Vivat. Like the Universom of old (which was shortly thereafter purchased by Semya), they provide convenient carts on wheels and you have the privilege of actually handling your own food. You only have to stand in a cashier line once! Need I say more on this? These chains have grown so strong in the last five years, that they are the anchor stores for three new malls!
So...Anyone want a sandwich?!!
Our shopping experience, at all three stores, was intriguing, in that you could not pick up the item of interest, but rather, had to ask for it by name and have it handed to you, but ONLY after purchase. I suppose if I knew any Russian at the time, I could've asked to inspect the bottle and check the "good thru" date on the lid. However, I didn't know one word of Russian beyond "da" and "nyet"! I marveled at how we would survive our first visit in Perm, especially if I had to point at everything I wanted and then trust the clerk to not cheat me of rubles. For you see, there was an abacus on the counter, instead of a reliable cash box with that familiar "ka-ching" ring!
After some further discussion about my inability to speak Russian, it was disclosed to me that there is a store that all the "ex-patriots" shop at. The Universom was my answer to prayer - we weren't going to starve after all!!! I could pick up that box of kasha and determine whether it was oatmeal, rice cereal, or something similar to cream of wheat inside! The weird thing is that I also had my own personal tracker following me down every aisle I meandered through. If I picked up anything, I got "the eye"...you know the one... your mom used it so as to say, "I'm watching you, so you best behave!" I felt like a criminal simply for touching something long enough to put it in the cart that this store conveniently offered me. The cart had wheels and all! This was as American as it could get!!! It was always exciting to make a trip to the Universom! Week after week, we would compare notes on what new "western" food we managed to find there. Happy was the day we discovered Uncle Ben's Spaghetti Sauce! For once, we could have something savory for our pel'mini! Not only that, but a year or so later, Heinz added to the competition, offering all fifty-seven sauces except ketchup!!!
So, now you're wondering why I posted a picture of the TsUM above. The first year we were here, grocery kiosks lined the first floor of the TsUM. I wanted to make sandwiches and figured it would be wise to get the ingredients at the TsUM, since we were in town. Little did I know how long it would take to go through their "Soviet-style" system. Walk through this system with me to gain a better understanding.
When making a sandwich, one needs the following: bread, meat, cheese, a condiment or two, and some carrots or something healthy on the side. So, you enter the bread kiosk's line to find out how much it costs and then to reserve a baton of bread. The clerk writes out on a piece of paper how much your loaf costs and sets it aside for you. You stand in the cashier line and eventually get to pay for your bread. You then return to the bread kiosk line to claim your bread.
Next, you make your way to the meat produce kiosk. Remember you can't touch or inspect anything. The lines are long and only getting longer as the lunch or dinner hour approaches. You forget how many pounds are in a kilogram and wind up asking the clerk to calculate the price for too much kielbasa (sausage), but determine to take that much anyway. She writes out a slip of paper for you so that the cashier knows how much to collect for your kielbasa and she lays the meat aside for you to claim it later. You stand in the cashier line (again) to pay for your meat. Is it just me, or is this line getting longer still? You pay for your kielbasa and then hurry back to the kielbasa kiosk line to claim it before someone else does.
Things are disappearing off the shelves in record time! You're only halfway done and this is already taking much longer than you expected. You think to yourself, "Do I really want cheese on my sandwich?" but find your way to the dairy kiosk line anyway. This time, you avoid relying on your ability to calculate pounds for kilogram and motion to the clerk how much of that (pointing), no I mean that (still pointing), no THAT ONE(!!!) sort of cheese you want. You figure an inch's worth is enough. She looks at you like you were born with two heads, but starts slicing, weighing and calculating the cost. You grab your slip of paper...that cashier line is winding down the hall already!!! You begin to wonder if mold is growing on your cheese when, at last, you finally make it to the cashier and pay for said cheese. You don't look forward to returning to the dairy kiosk line. The clerk has kept her eye on you and continues to treat you like a martian!
You decide, "That's it!!! I'm outta here!" and opt NOT to slather your sandwich with anything, but find yourself in the condiment kiosk line - simply out of habit. You point towards some mustard, thinking that would be quite tasty on your sandwich, despite the moldy cheese. There are literally one hundred and one versions of mustard to choose from, which makes you wonder, but you pick one anyway. It's Russia - live a little! You hike to the end of the cashier line to pay for your mustard. The cashier never seems to notice you've been to see her this, your fourth time yet, but the cheese-lady is still watching you to find out just what is wrong with you? You also have no clue whether the cashier has given you the proper change for all these items, but by now you don't care...you're tired of standing in line, hungry, and just want to go home....but have to get the mustard you just paid for first! You tally which line is longest while waiting to pick up your mustard.
Finally, you've made it through one crazy shopping experience and find your way home. You make your sandwich, using all the ingredients of this day's purchases and take a bite, only to discover that "live-a-little" mustard is horseradish and you have used entirely toooooooo much on your sandwich! It's Russia!!! You also discover that you forgot to buy carrots for your side dish.
Over the years, we have seen Perm's doors open wide to the commercial competition of grocery stores. The two largest conglomerates are Semya and Vivat. Like the Universom of old (which was shortly thereafter purchased by Semya), they provide convenient carts on wheels and you have the privilege of actually handling your own food. You only have to stand in a cashier line once! Need I say more on this? These chains have grown so strong in the last five years, that they are the anchor stores for three new malls!
So...Anyone want a sandwich?!!
